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I couldn't concentrate on what she was sayingbecause I was so uncomfortable. My legs burned. And I felt dizzy orlight headed or something. I think I now know what extraordinaryrendition techniques are. I was humiliated, starved, needing sleep, andI was over worked. I was exposed and helpless. Is this what Gitmofeels like to those guys? Is this the humiliation the prisoners in thatone prison in Iraq felt? Did they break as easily as I had? No, theywere real bad and real tough guys. I simply lost a bet to a friend overgolf. But I felt so much more committed. Something wasn't right. Eversince I moved in with Jen I felt different - as if something wasslipping away. I was less resistant. More compliant. Jen was incontrol and I wasn't sure why I acquiesced so much over a bet. But Icouldn't help it. I felt different inside. I was more vulnerable.More emotional. And physically I was skinnier and weaker. I felt anattraction to the clothes. I actually wanted to wear. This would take some getting used to. Dave was going to do more work than I had thought. Porn stars do this without the guy on the bottom having to guide them. They must do this a lot! I am also an amateur. I pushed down slowly and probably had about an inch of Dave inside me. I would take it slow to start with and work it. I realised Dave could see how much of him was inside me. I was having to judge based on how much I had lowered my hips. Which realistically meant I had almost no idea. I started slightly lowering and raising my mid section very slowly. Dave's hands were still on me offering some guidance. When I lowered myself Dave didn't pull down but it felt like his hands were subtilely inviting me and when I raised myself he would slightly loosen his touch. His guidance was making this much easier and I was getting the confidence to increase the range. I tried to improve the rhythm. Moving up and down at a nice speed with no stopping. No jerky motion. Trying to make it.
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